a blessed life of love and gratitude

the singaporean jadedness

2009-08-02T18:45:00.003+08:00

recently, this topic has been popping up in many of my conversations - i wonder if it's providence or something that has been bugging me such that i find a way to weave it into my conversations!

"the singaporean jadedness".

it's something that infects many of us in singapore. why, how, when - these questions plague many of us. some are more expressive about it while others are less so. but deep down, we all know that it's something that we have to cope with.

the same routines after a while, the same joys, the same heartaches - perhaps it's a modern disease.

is this all there is to life? the rat race, the transcience of human relationships and the constant quest for fulfilment and meaning?

Fastlane

2009-07-26T03:27:00.003+08:00

I'm currently trying to get through "Groundswell", an awesome book on the transformational power of social media and conversations. The reason I have to "try to get through" it even though it impresses me tremendously is that working life has greatly reduced my "me time"!! *sobs*

Anyway, one of the corporate blogs mentioned in "Groundswell" is GM's Fastlane blog started by Bob Lutz, Vice Chairman of GM.

http://fastlane.gmblogs.com/

What amazes me about this blog is the level of conversations happening on it even though GM's top management (the key contributors to this blog) doesn't reply to comments anymore.

I say "anymore" because when I examine the earliest entries by Bob Lutz, many of them made references to comments and even thanked netizens for their ardent support.

My conclusion? That even blogs go through a maturing cycle. In any blog's early days, the writers of the blog have to make the concerted effort to establish a connection with their readers. Of course this can only happen if the writers actively respond to comments as an indication of their sincerity about wanting to understand these comments.

As the blog community matures, however, the blog becomes more self sustaining. Yes, it's important that top management continues to contribute meaningful blog entries but there is no longer a need for writers to reply comments anymore because members of the blog community now converse fervently with each other. The blog takes on a life of its own! How amazing.

Another aspect about this blog that impresses me is the interactivity of it. On a regular basis, visitors of the blog are invited to engage in webchats with top management at GM. At the same time, the GM Facebook and Twitter pages have designated GM employees responding to posts.

Yet again, another thought that occurs to me is - would this blog have been as successful in Asia? Somehow, in Asia, we haven't grown accustomed to airing our opinions and talking openly about them with strangers. What's worse is that many of us are pretty apathetic, preferring to talk about topics that are highly relevant to us. Would this GM blog have garnered the same level of conversations in Asia then?

Miss Invisible

2009-07-25T21:13:00.000+08:00

For anybody who has ever felt invisible, unnoticed and insignificant. :)

About this song: Marie Digby catapulted to fame when netizens showed their fervent support for her song-writing and song covers, which she circulated through social media. This song, "Miss Invisible" won her the top prize in Pantene's pro-voice contest.

"This is Home" - Switchfoot for the soundtrack of "The Chronicles of Narnia"

2009-07-18T22:14:00.002+08:00

a song i hope to sing in my heart, one day. :)

smiles

2009-07-18T18:28:00.003+08:00

as i'm growing older and stepping deeper into the adult world, i'm beginning to realise that people smile a lot.

in other words, the "problem" is not that people aren't smiling. people ARE smiling.

but how many of those smiles are truly from the heart? how many are truly happy? that's the big question.

how about ourselves? are we smiling to mask some other sentiments? or are we smiling genuinely from the heart?

it gets harder to find "realness" and authenticity.

but those precious things and people who are real in our lives find very special places in our hearts.

:)

2009-07-08T19:13:00.014+08:00

a fish out of water - can it ever learn to breathe on land?

Lord I Surrender - May Your Will Be Done.

2009-07-08T02:36:00.000+08:00

:)

2009-07-07T00:33:00.002+08:00

a phone conversation with my dear youth sheena, a msn chat convo with my other dear youth esther, another msn convo with another dear youth john, dinner with my best friend, a msn convo with my mum who's currently overseas, and i'm smiling.

it's in the little things sometimes.

at the end of an exhausting day, it's in the little moments of love and friendship that you find solace.

selah

2009-07-05T08:34:00.005+08:00

for once in a very very very very long time, i am giving sunday service a miss. the previous time was when i had broken up with my bf of 5 years.

sometimes, that's the problem with us. we busy ourselves with so many activities that we forget to give ourselves time to breathe, pause and unwind.

being responsible is definitely a good quality but at times, perhaps, we need to learn to heck it, throw caution to the wind, and take care of ourselves.

after all, if we don't learn to love ourselves, who else will?

i admit i'm traumatized by everything that has happened in the past few weeks. and i've tried to chide myself out of it. but like my best friend says, perhaps, i need to stop being so hard on myself. perhaps, it's time to admit to myself... yea, i'm traumatized... sure, i'm hurt and disappointed. and that's alright. because God and time will heal everything.

and while many may tell me i think too much; i need to be more positive; i am oversensitive, the pain is real to me. and God understands.

so that's what i'm doing for now - lifting everything up to Him, and allowing Him to heal it all.

and i'll remember the people who understood my pain without judging me, supporting me through it with their hearts and souls- thank you to my awesome mum and bestie! *hugsssssssssss*

most of all, i'll always remember what i've been through... to be a better person.

going round and round in circles

2009-07-01T07:46:00.003+08:00

i feel like i'm going round and round in circles - no idea where this is headed and no idea what i'm doing. yet, there's nobody to blame. because nobody wants it this way. i don't know if screaming for help was the wise thing to do but i didn't know what else to do either. i don't mean to be this way... but i don't know how else to be. i'm not making sense am i? well that's the whole point. to go round and round in circles, as a depiction of how "i feel like i'm going round and round in circles- no idea where this is headed and no idea what i'm doing."

quality time :)

2009-06-27T23:28:00.004+08:00

ever since i've started work, every single moment spent with loved and cherished ones has become sooo precious.

it truly makes me ponder about whether the lack of something is necessarily a very bad thing. sometimes, having something in abundance makes you take it for granted. but when it becomes limited, you cherish every bit of it. :) and it brings more joy than the abundance of it could ever bring.

anyway, it has been an awesome weekend because every minute of it was spent with people who mean the world to me.:)

looking forward to service tomorrow! *grins*

off to do my report for now... :P

2009-06-27T01:18:00.004+08:00

lost... in Your everlasting arms of love. recently, i've still been feeling very... lost. but at the same time, i trust and believe that our God is an awesome God! :) so even if everything is highly uncertain, i can place my confidence in the knowledge that God has a plan for each and every one of us. it may still be very hazy to me at this point of time, but i know it will grow clearer in time. and, i will continue to cling onto Him even if i can't cling onto anything or anybody else.

because our God is an awesome God.. He reigns from heaven above... with wisdom power and love... our God is an awesome God!

still, Lord... will you show me Your plan soon? because i am fast losing patience waiting... but even if i grow weary from all the waiting, i will continue to wait on You for Your plan to be revealed in Your time.

because i trust that Your plan revealed in Your time will be the best thing that will ever happen to me.

it's a heartwarming feeling when...

2009-06-24T22:37:00.008+08:00

you realize that someone was thinking of you even though you thought they had forgotten about you. :) :)

also looking forward to dinner with shu hua dear tomorrow, lunch with bridget on sat, worship practice with the youths on sat, and dinner with the best friend also on sat. :)

really enjoyed family time with the folks over drinks at sixth evening, after a long day at work.

my boss is back next monday too! although that entails deadlines for me, it's nice to have him back. :) because he's one person who knows how to make you feel appreciated in the smallest of ways.

what would i do without the people in my life? praise God for them all. *hugs*

where would i be without YOU here in my life :)

2009-06-20T16:42:00.000+08:00

"teething problems" and discovering what drives me

2009-06-20T16:25:00.006+08:00

teething problems

recently, i've been feeling somewhat... lost. and no, it's not to do with any specific area of my life. it's just a general feeling - sometimes i don't know what the heck i'm doing and why i'm doing them.

it's a scary feeling because i'm accustomed to knowing what i'm doing and why.

at the very most, i could always cling onto God and faith to get me through the most uncertain times.

but recently, i've lost track... i want to find my way back to Him, but something's stopping me and i don't know what in the world it is. i think it's... doubt, fatigue, and just a general feeling of listlessness.

my dear best friend characterized it very aptly in two words, "teething problems".

sometimes, when you're moving onto a new period in your life, you face "teething problems". it can be a new relationship, a new home, a new job, a new anything..

during such times, you become more sensitive to your own driving forces and the people you truly truly cherish. it's an awesome process of self-discovery.

what's your motivation in life?

as for me - it is to be able to contribute towards something larger and this can be the progress of my company or humanity on the whole.

power and pay don't drive me.

i don't give a damn about politics and sucking up.

but really, it's more about contributing towards a larger good and most of all, to be faithful to the people who have shown me kindness.

so what's your motivation? :)

a different generation?

2009-06-17T01:01:00.008+08:00

sometimes, i feel like i was born in the wrong generation. because deep down, although i'm pretty open minded and receptive towards new ideas, i'm still simple and traditional at heart.

that sounds so paradoxical and senseless but but it really isn't!

in short, i recognize the importance of change, innovation and new ideas (trust me, i am definitely all for changing with the times.. i know this because i have faced resistance towards my ideas)... but my needs, wants, mantra and philosophies are still pretty traditional.

the types of guys i like

the desire to stay in my virgin company for quite some time

my lack of interest in modern living such as clubbing, fine dining, etc

the mantra of just working hard and being positive - in other words, the refusal to partake in politics, etc

my faith in human nature

the "kampong" concept of getting by through helping each other out

my trust in God

yet again, we're called to make the best of any situation we're in - cheers! :)

green beans

2009-06-14T03:32:00.010+08:00

my crazy iprs coursemates - i miss you all! :)

so i've started work for.... a week! :) that is, if you don't include the course... if you do, well then - i've started for a month and a week!

i'm blessed to have some pretty kickass and sincere colleagues, as well as an awesome boss.

but, i still need more time to adapt to working life i guess! it's so... different from student life. yet, the mantra is the same i suppose - to do ur best and to love what u do.

now, to explain the title of this post - i feel so.... GREEN at work... although i've interned & worked in advertising since i was 17 (so it's not like i've never been exposed), i'm totally NEW & GREEN to PR! sure, some of the skills from advertising are transferrable but there are many PR- specific skills (basic... mind you) like press release writing that i am totally clueless about!

being so used to knowing what i'm doing (usually), this GREEN feeling is totally new for me. yet, it's humbling and i hope to remember this feeling... forever. so that when newbies come in in future, i will always remember to be there for them, no matter how busy i may get.

through it all, i've been holding onto this quote i totally love (from daily bread). :)

We don’t need to see the way if we’re following the One who is the Way.

even though i feel lost sometimes because my current job scope is pretty unique, i will cling onto the knowledge that God has a plan for me. and, His plan is always good. :)

besides, i trust my boss (& mentor) too. one day, when we both have the chance to catch up, i'll ask him why. why he put me in my current position. i believe and trust that he has his reasons and that those reasons are with the best of intentions at heart. i'm grateful for a boss like him who's willing to train and be there for me despite being so busy. and i'll give it all my best.

time to catch some sleep before service... so... tata! and nights world! :)

wow...

2009-06-06T23:19:00.004+08:00

this is only part 1 of obama's speech to muslims all over the world. and it already has me going WOW.

notice how he cleverly shows respect for islam with references to the koran and recognizes the achievements of muslims in history.

he also makes a clear distinction between the extremists and other muslims, something which bush didn't do very well.

moreover, he seeks common ground between islam and america by emphasizing that americans and muslims alike share common principles of justice and peace.

another thing obama does in this speech that amazes me is to frame the conflict between america and islam in the context of historical conflicts, taking the focus away from the immediate issues.

yet, he does not avoid the immediate issues and addresses them later on in his speech.

this truly (in my opinion) has got to be one of the best speeches ever.

2009-06-04T00:10:00.001+08:00

we all need people in our lives who will be honest with us and who will support us nonetheless in whatever we do.

aspiring pr professionals :)

2009-05-28T01:01:00.003+08:00

as many of you probably already know, i am very thankful that my company has sponsored me for my pre-job course which is organized by the Institute of Public Relations Singapore and the WDA. this program is part of the IPRS' efforts to increase the professional standard of public relations in Singapore.

it has been an awesome experience learning from such experienced pr veterans who so graciously agreed to come down to share their nuggets of wisdom with us.

in addition, i met a bunch of vibrant, interesting, warm and quirky aspiring pr professionals. :) hopefully, we can support each other through our careers even if we'll be going into different firms soon.

and, i have a feeling that i'll always look back on this month with fond memories. :)

the importance of rest :)

2009-05-24T23:14:00.006+08:00

recently i haven't been online much oops - explains the hiatus in postings.. :p :p

truth be told, it has been quite tiring juggling multiple commitments - job, church, family and friends... but through it all, i am thankful, very thankful. :)) i am thankful for all the blessings God has poured forth upon me. i have a job in a field i love during such hard times, i respect and admire my boss :), i have such sweet youths in church, and i adore my family and friends. :):) what more can i ask for?

through it all, i've also learnt another very important lesson - the importance of rest! :) i think i've been stretching myself a bit too far... and it's time to slow down, sort out my priorities and factor rest (or time for myself) into my list of priorities. :)

we all need rest. because rest helps us go further... i want to shine for God and make a difference - it just won't do if i burn out. hence the importance of rest. and that applies to everybody. so let's not forget to make time to rest and spend time with ourselves. :)

for now, it's time for me to start cracking on my graded assignment for my pre-job course.

before i go though, i'll end this post with some photos from outings with friends of late. ... :) :) (some are in my camera so i'll have to suck them out of my camera soon - today i'll just be posting a few of the photos captured with my mobile).

as for those i haven't been able to capture in photos, it doesn't mean that i enjoyed myself any less! it was awesome catching up with the gals: yola and shu hua dear, edwin, leon, kwan mei, caroline, alicia, grace bong, and my dear youths of course...

am looking forward to john's birthday celeb on friday, meeting up with grace bong and shu hua on tues, and dinner with my coursemates on monday (tmrw)... :)))

yay... leon and i found a healthy food joint at plaza sing - tomato grills! the food is good and so healthy! everything is cooked in olive oil... woo hooo!

shu hua beaming over her ban mien at amk :)))

humility

2009-05-13T01:04:00.005+08:00

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." (James 4:10)

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." (1 Peter 5:6)

"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." (Matthew 23:12)

So often in history and our personal experiences, we have seen great leaders or achievers fall because of pride and stubbornness. Pride blocks you out from the rest of the world, de-sensitizing you from the external environment. At the same time, pride totally shields out sound advice from others.

Yet, pride is so insidious that it creeps up on us without us even being aware of it most times.

Just as an ideal company is always prepared for a crisis, perhaps the only way to counter pride in ourselves is to constantly remind ourselves that we have so so much more to learn.

This thought came to mind because I met a commendably humble person today. He has many reasons to be proud but he has chosen to treat others with deference, sensitivity, sincerity and warmth. :))) I aspire to be that way. :)))

Blessed Assurance

2009-05-10T23:15:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow, my pre-job course commences... It's a month-long series of training sessions before I embark on a 6 months probation period at my company.

And, I am so so thankful that my company is willing to invest the resources and time to send me for this course. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and to be trained. :))

Through it all, I know God is with me. The peace and joy from holding onto this blessed assurance is indescribably amazing. :))))

"Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, 'I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.' So we can say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper,so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?'(Hebrews 13: 5-6)

"So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you." (Deuteronomy 31: 6)

:))))

2009-05-10T00:34:00.004+08:00

i should really be sleeping NOW b/c i have service tomorrow but a few minutes of blogging won't kill, right? :)))))

anyway, the weekend has been a busy one! but.. through it all, i've been feeling blessed nonetheless. :)))

first up, i've been reading the book below and i really like it because it advocates openness to change, optimism, and the courage to fail gracefully. :))) more on that in my next entry!

and.. below is me in my new specs... i love the sides because they have ornamental elegant flower designs... i'll do a close up photo soon! hee.

my aunt and i at the cjc singapore youth festival showcase... it was an impressive medley of band, chinese drama, choir and dance performances... wow! :))) i was also very impressed by cjc's performing arts theatre :))).

anyway, i'm off to sleep because i have to do english to chinese interpretation tmrw... zzzz... my chinese isn't good at all.. but if i am called, i will just do my best and leave the rest to God yah???

other than the cjc play with my aunt on fri evening, i had guitar class on sat morning and cell in the afternoon... :))). tmrw will be a busy day with sunday service, worship team building session, and mother's day dinner in the evening... plus, tmrw, we'll have visitors in church... one of them being my dear smu friend, edwin... ok ok i should really sleep... or i'll be a walking zombie tmrw!

more updates next time i promise!!! *muacks*

Hair, etc :))

2009-05-07T14:29:00.004+08:00

After 5 hours of sitting in the hair salon chair till my butt was numbbbbb, Mike (my usual hairstylist) at Hair, etc (my usual hair salon) finished his hard work on my dry, stubborn hair! :)))

This time around, I went for softer curls and a darker hair color... Yea yea, I'm going for the SWEET look.

*laugh away now* Hehehehhe...

I'm sweet okay! If you haven't realized it, oh well.. improve your people reading skills! Not my fault! Or take the time to know me better! *keke*

oh yea, pardon the sleepy small eyes.. hehe.. that's what happens when you've sat in the salon for 5 hrs!!! *sobs*

A Harlem Church Rendition of U2's Song, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for" (A gospel song) in Collaboration with U2

2009-05-07T13:39:00.013+08:00

The highest form of worship is when you can still sing praises to Him in hardship and suffering, because you trust with all your heart & soul that whatever has happened has happened for a reason for the good of those who love Him and to glorify His name.

And, this highest form of worship is what you experience when you watch this video of the poor, forgotten and deprived people of Harlem, New York. Suffering and hardships could not stop them from pouring out their love for God with all their hearts, souls and minds.

As such, even though many of them were probably struggling to get through every single day, the joy of the Lord still glowed on their faces. No cynicism, no cold hard eyes, no bitterness... Just hope and joy.

Amazing.

I was moved to tears when I watched this video.

Enjoy! :)

another blessed day :)))

2009-05-05T01:51:00.002+08:00

today was another blessed day praise God yay - somehow, when you're nourished by God's word daily, and you trust in Him and His divine plan COMPLETELY, the peace in your spirit, heart, mind and soul is..............A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

in the morning, i had breakfast with my family, afterwhich i had lunch with evangeline, tea with my mum, a pre-dinner drink with edwin, and dinner with sheena, john and joshua. :)))

i enjoyed each and every moment completely............

when you're joyful, every moment in life becomes so... real, precious and beautiful.

i'm already looking forward to meeting up with caroline on thurs, mothers' day on sun, meeting up with edwin on sun, cell on sat, service on sun, and starting work on mon!!! :)))) not forgetting guitar on sat, as well as hanging out with my guitar friends, bridget and joanne. :))

Shalommmmmmmmmmmm!!!

A comforting psalm :)))

2009-05-04T09:04:00.003+08:00

Psalm 112

1 Praise the LORD.
   Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
   who finds great delight in his commands.

2 His children will be mighty in the land;
   the generation of the upright will be blessed.

3 Wealth and riches are in his house,
   and his righteousness endures forever.

4 Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
   for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.

5 Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely,
   who conducts his affairs with justice.

6 Surely he will never be shaken;
  a righteous man will be remembered forever.

7 He will have no fear of bad news;
   his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
   in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

9 He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor,
   his righteousness endures forever;
   his horn will be lifted high in honor.

10 The wicked man will see and be vexed,
   he will gnash his teeth and waste away;
   the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

Take-aways from this psalm:

God will always give people who fear Him the best. They will be blessed with wealth, riches, and honor even amidst "darkness"
God loves people who are righteous and just, but also loving, compassionate, gracious (merciful) and generous. All these, however, stem from a reverance for God.
When you are God-fearing, the peace of mind you experience is indescribable. Your heart will be secure with no fear and you can always trust in God to give you the best.
In contrast, the wicked man will be vexed (desperate, anxious) and eventually he will waste away with his desires coming to nothing.

food, soup, coffee and friendship :)

2009-04-30T03:15:00.009+08:00

today my favorite prof, prof ong siow heng, asked over lunch, "so mariko what have you been up to since the exams ended?"

and it got me thinking.. yeaaa, so what exactly have i been up to since my exams ended? :)

no specific major event came to mind.

all that came to mind was a general feeling of peace and contentment. :)

because i am FINALLY doing all the things i wanted to do during the busy school term but couldn't get the chance to do like spending time with loved ones and God, practising my guitar, and resting my soul, body and mind. :)

day before yesterday, i enjoyed catching up with grace dear at billy bombers over milkshake and garlic cheese muscles! :)

yesterday, i enjoyed yummilicious mushroom cheese prata with evangeline and chris, 2 of my dear youths, at the row of eateries opposite my place.

this morning, i had breakfast with my daddy and doggy (ooo they rhyme! hehe) at sixth avenue.

in the afternoon, i had lunch with my favorite prof, prof ong siow heng at soup spoon, raffles city. :)

afterwhich, i caught up with edwin over mocha frappe at gloria jean's.

looking forward to dinner with kwan mei dear tomorrow! :)

life's good...... perhaps we search high and low for the meaning of life, excitement and thrill, but really, they're right before us, in the simplest things. :)

but although they revolve around "things" like food, soup or coffee, the essence of these simple joys is never in the "things" but in the people, memories, connection and other treasures which no amount of money can buy. no wonder they say money can't buy happiness. :)

Making a Difference

2009-04-30T01:08:00.005+08:00

Recently this passage has been jumping out at me over and over again. And I am reminded that as Christians, it's so important to bear fruit and make a difference. Bearing fruit is not however confined to within the walls of the church, but wherever we are and wherever we go. :)

The Vine and the Branches

15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

(John 15: 1 -8 NIV)

Blessed be Your Name :) :) :)

2009-04-28T14:58:00.003+08:00

Thank you Janice for reminding me of several things last night.

That no matter what happens, God's righteousness will prevail.
That we are called to be the salt and light of the earth for others who are looking to us for leadership and guidance.
That God takes a strong stand towards His chosen leaders.
That if our actions are actions of goodness, why be afraid?
And that God loves us all so so much, so He will never abandon those who sincerely seek His face, will and heart.

Amen. :)

"Blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place. When I walk through the wilderness, blessed be Your name." :)

Never Underestimate Anybody and Never Give Up :)

2009-04-25T22:04:00.005+08:00

Today I chanced upon 2 videos from Britain Got Talent and the words in the title of this post just rang in my head.

Never underestimate anybody and never give up. :)

Sounds cliche huh? But, when it comes to the crux, we do that all the time. We write people off either because they're down and out at that moment or because they haven't shown their true potential. And, we give up because it's "rational" to do so.

The stories of 47 year old Susan Boyle and 12 year old Shaheen Jafargholi are reminders, however, that we must never underestimate anyone because once upon a time, someone gave up on them, but that didn't stop them from shining. :)

Unemployed and initially scoffed at by the judges and audience for her appearances and age, Susan Boyle eventually stunned everybody with her amazing voice.

Raised by his single mother without a father, Shaheen too had faced loss and abandonment.

Most of all, despite being canned by Simon at first, both persevered to give their best performances. Human tenacity at its finest. :)

To watch videos on their stunning performances:

Susan Boyle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk&feature=related

Shaheen Jafargholi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-f9VbYzyps

pet peeve

2009-04-24T01:54:00.000+08:00

i've realized that i can't stand selfish and inconsiderate people..

that's my pet peeve.

period.

For anyone whose ever dreamed, doubted, struggled, achieved, and failed. :)

2009-04-22T20:27:00.008+08:00

The Climb - Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what?s waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

scenes of a life :)

2009-04-21T23:28:00.010+08:00

it's been a looong day and i'm tired.. hehe

omg i'm so loving the dress i'm wearing which i stole from my mum's cupboard.. oops! sorry mumm =(

but obviously, someone else is more tired than i am... hehehe (yea tt's my dog... poor dog had no idea i was secretly snapping a photo of him sound asleep!)

u can tell i've just found my camera, can't u? suddenly all the photos taken from some time ago are appearing! out of the blue! hehe.

anyway, today, the best friend and i headed to ben and jerry's novena to queue up for FREEE ice cream! the queue was bad but not THAT bad. we waited for about 30-40 mins.. i felt so old though b/c most of the people queueing up were... students! still, it was something we just wanted to do before entering the working world and saying bye to such experiences.. hehe.

ben and jerry's staff busy scooping ice creams for happy students!

my free scoop of ice cream - a new flavor! chocolate macademia.. YUMMMM! u can't see from this photo but the macademia nuts were HUGE and coated with chocolate... mmmmyummm.

enjoying the fruits of my queuing labor! hehe

best friends and ice cream

i can't even recall when i took this! hahas

yummilicious home cooked christmas eve dinner with my family! *grins*

look at that salad slurps!

daddy and daughter

mummy's girl!

me on christmas eve... hehehe..

the girls!!! =) =) =) yola dear, MOI, and shu hua dear.. =) (taken some time back at yola's bday party!)

awwwwwwww =)

virgoes rock!!! *hugssssssss*

whoa those photos are sooo long overdue! yola's bday was in oct LAST YEAR, christmas was obviously LAST christmas, and oh well at least the ben and jerry's free cone day is updated!

moment of epiphany - i've gained weight sobssssss! am gonna be on a strict diet from now till 1st june... =( =(

and, it was great to have sheena join for dinner this evening.. it's been some time since i've spoken to that girl.. but omg.. she has such a HUGE ulcer now.. poor girl. =(

something unpleasant happened today too. but i shan't talk about it here.. still, it's okay. i'll be fine. i have so much to thank God for already.. i am grateful...! :) yea, there are setbacks sometimes... but that's alright.. i will stay hopeful, cheerful and grateful! :)

Can we pull through this avalanche? La la la.. Nice song!

2009-04-20T22:29:00.000+08:00

FREEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

2009-04-20T21:00:00.008+08:00

my youths and i doing jump shots after our thanksgiving service hee hee!

WOO HOO! my exams are FINALLY FINALLY at LONG LAST, OVER!!!!!!! OMG i never thought this day would come!!!! but it has it has!

so my paper today (business processes) sucked to high heavens.. i seriously CANNOT do technical subjects!! but considering that i didn't take maths at all in JC and the last time i touched maths was.... 9 yrs ago, if i can pass this module, it's already a blessing, a miracle!!!

still, i'm SO glad the exams are over!!! even if the paper sucked, i was too tired to care, and too relieved to mope over it. perhaps it's maturity in a way as well.

back in my younger days, i used to mope about my exams when they didn't go well, but these days, i simply try my best during the exam and when it's over, i know i've tried my best and i leave it all in God's hands. :) :) :)

i just pray with all my heart and soul that this subject doesn't push me out of my above 3.6 cum laude positioning (is it called magma cum laude or summa cum laude? *hehe*)... still, even if that happens, it's alright i guess - grades are not everything! :) as long as we've tried our utmost best!

i'm off to tidy up my room and clear out all my textbooks and notes - good riddance (hee!). ironically, though, i still hope to do my masters overseas, in a few years' time. :)

freud is right on that account - we repeat what we don't understand. even if we loathe something, we are drawn to it in a strange way at the same time. :P

not that i didn't like studying though - i love learning!!!! (yea, call me a freak hehe). but i don't like the fact that we have to study what we don't have an interest in (core mods). i want to study what i am passionate about, not because i have to fulfill requirements, but because i simply love it! :) :)

tomorrow is ben and jerry's free cone day!!!!!! i am heading down to ben and jerry's at novena with the best friend to queue up for free cones! one of those things you do when you're a student and which we both want to enjoy before we enter the working world and can't do such silly stuff anymore... :P i mean who takes leave to queue up for free cones?! hehehehe.

afterwards, it'll be dinner with sheena and the best friend... yet to decide where.

photos coming!! :) :) :) i've finally found my digicam again! yayyyyyyyyy. so that means more photos soon!

Girls' Night Out in the City :)

2009-04-13T15:13:00.003+08:00

yesterday, i met up with my dear dear old friend, kwan mei!!! :) what joy.. :) i hadn't seen her for a while as she had been in vietnam on a much deserved holiday and break! when i met up with her yesterday, i realized........... i'd missed her!!! :)

we headed to ricciotti, this italian restaurant along the river at boat quay. omgg... i loved my smoked salmon pasta, anti pasta entree and the dessert was awesome.. totally recommend this place to anyone whose looking for good italian food... alright, so it's not the best around but it'll do to satisfy cravings. :)

for more info, u can visit the website at: http://www.ricciotti.com.sg/

anyway, it was really AWESOME chit chatting about our lives and i'm happy to know that both of us have reached a stage in our lives when we're satisfied, contented and at the same time, driven to go for what we want in life. i'm really glad she's beginning to pursue her passion for writing and i'm really glad to have found something i like a lot a lot outside of my work... the guitar! :)

even though we're only 25 yrs old, i think we've both arrived at a point when we know what we want, and we're satisfied with the way our lives have panned out. :) most women are said to arrive at that juncture only when they're around 30 years old.. so we're pretty blessed to have started experiencing that kind of bliss at 25 years old. :)

i recall that when i was in JC, i had an ideal self which i perceived as impossible to achieve. in some ways, i haven't achieved that ideal self but in many ways i have achieved that ideal self or at the very least am on the way to achieving that. i thank God for that. :) :) :) i'm on the way to pursuing a career in public relations, and... God has been slowly moulding me into an independant driven lady who knows what she wants and who now believes wholeheartedly that she deserves the best in life. :)

yay!

a memorable girls' night out in the city... way to go! friendship rocks!

When God seems absent, He may be closest of all :)

2009-04-11T20:31:00.003+08:00

In Louisiana, a woman lies buried beneath a grove of 150-year-old oak trees in the cemetery of an Episcopal church. Only one word is carved on her tombstone: “Waiting.”

A friend of mine knows an elderly pastor who delivered a stirring Good Friday sermon titled “It’s Friday, but Sunday’s Comin’.” In a cadence that increases in tempo and volume, his sermon contrasts how the world looked on Friday—when the forces of evil seemed to have triumphed—with how it looked on Sunday. The disciples who lived through both days never doubted God again. They learned that when God seems most absent, He may be closest of all.

The sermon skips one day, though—Saturday—the day with no name. What the disciples lived through in small scale, we now live through on cosmic scale. It’s Saturday on planet earth; will Sunday ever come?

That dark, Golgothan Friday can only be called good because of what happened on Sunday. Easter opened up a crack in a universe winding down toward decay. And someday God will enlarge the miracle of Easter to cosmic scale.

Meanwhile, we wait in hopeful anticipation, living out our days on Saturday, the in-between day with no name.

It’s Saturday. But Sunday’s comin’. — Philip Yancey

Dark was the night—sin warred against us!
Heavy the load of sorrow we bore;
But now we see signs of His coming—
Our hearts glow within us, joy’s cup
runneth o’er! —Camp
© Renewal 1941 Norman Camp.

Source: http://www.rbc.org/odb/odb.shtml

personal note:

just a mere few weeks ago, i was feeling so low, as if God had left me. everything seemed to be going wrong... not the way i'd wanted them to turn out. but through it i've learnt an important lesson... that even if things may seem to be going wrong, God is sovereign through it all. He never left me even during that horrible period of deadlines and failure... in small ways, i experienced His mercies. and, most of all, He sent love and friendship to keep me going. :) most times, it's not that He's left us, but that we've stopped believing in His love and presence even if they're staring us in the face. :)

Shalom. :)

a blessed life of love and gratitude :)

2009-04-11T15:20:00.014+08:00

nooo noooo i wasn't so lazy as to simply copy and paste the title of my blog as the title of this entry.. i typed it out word for word! because that's precisely how i'm feeling right now. :)

that's the thing with contentment though - it makes you sleepppyyy. so this won't be a long entry.. the bed is looking way too tempting and inviting! *think clean pls* :) :)

nooo.. that's not my bed.. i wish it were though.. hehe.. :) :) :) i'm not into ostentatious decor... cosy, bright, warm and inviting sounds good. :) :)

i just felt like blogging to say thank you God for always knowing what's best for me.. and for always giving me nothing short of the best. :)

sure, sometimes, life gets plain tiring b/c there are many commitments to fulfill.. but most of the time, i don't think i'd trade my life for any other.. and i'm happy with the people in my life, the way my life has turned out, and everything in general. :)

there were some nooks and crannies along the way but on the whole, i've been blessed.. supremely blessed. not because i deserve all these blessings... but because God is just so so awesome. :) :)

on a less abstract note, i had guitar today, and my guitar presentation went well (i think).. phew! at least my teacher gave good comments and i felt that i did okay. :) :) after that i had drinks with guitar classmates and lunch with my mum.. it has been a nice relaxing day. :) :) :)

(omg.. the bed is getting more and more tempting!!!)
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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and i give up.. i'm succumbing to the temptation... nights!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

ps: just a random thought but for a long long while, i've been struggling with self worth and even my own identity but of late, i've finally realized how precious i am in God's eyes.. so why should i ever ever put myself down? why should i accept disrespectful treatment towards me from people who don't appreciate me, and still give my all to them? enough is enough. this lady is here is gonna start respecting herself, y'hear? :) :) :) and that means distancing from people who don't respect or appreciate her.

(and pampering herself to a nap *grins*)

it's in the random little things :)

2009-04-08T18:29:00.009+08:00

it's in the random little things that you see a person for who he or she really is.

it's in the random little things that you realize how much somebody loves you.

it's in the random little things that you find a reason to smile.

and, it's the random little things that make life worth living.

sorry peeps for not updating my blog much these days! i've just been crazily busyyyy... all the projects, assignments, exams, etc gushing in! sometimes, i feel so exhausted i feel like i can't do this anymore...

but but but....... :) :) :) in the end, i find a reason to keep on rolling, always. and i thank God for that! He knows just when to send those little things to make me smile, to remind me that i'm loved and to show me that life's worth living after all. :) :) :)

so.. i've just been busy trying to meet deadline after deadline.. but in the midst of it, my guitar is keeping me going.. somehow, when i'm sick of typing reports, i just strum my guitar for 10-15 mins and i'm good to start on my reports again..

that has made me realize something! that when you truly love something, even if you're not great at it and even if you have to do it often, you still love it.. :) maybe that applies to loving someone too. even if you know he or she isn't perfect and even if you see him or her often, you still love him or her anyway... *food for thought*

thanks shu hua for introing me to this lovely song by none other than my favorite singer.... *drumroll* jason mraz!!!! *drools drools drools*

Lucky - Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat

and and there're more... (pls let me gush over jason mraz a bit.. :P)

Rainbow Connection - Jason Mraz

one last one! :) :) :)

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

okay, back to my LAST LAST LAST report... yay! can't wait for.... my visit to hill and knowlton on 17th april to finalize my internship stuff (am quite excited to start my internship and learn learn learn), my trip to the US (wheeeee....) and my guitar lessons... la la la.

most of all, here's a BIG BIG BIG HUG to the lovely people in my life! my dear family and friends... i've realized that i've spent too much time on my studies and career... neglecting you lovely people in the process.. thank YOU though for always being so supportive.. through the good and bad seasons!

signing off now with a big *muacks* :)

oh yea.. before i go.. an interesting convo w shu hua dear.. just got me thinking.. randomly... that i've discovered through recent experiences that... if i'm to fall in love again, i need an open minded guy! someone whose very open, easy going and outgoing.. most of all, he has to be someone whose very open...

because deep deep down, even if i seem outgoing on the surface, i'm actually a quiet and reserved girl *surprise* hahaha.. and i guess perhaps, having lived overseas myself, i'm pretty open and Westernized... so i need someone whose Westernized and open minded too.. or else, there is bound to be many many many misunderstandings and heartaches... i don't think i can handle that for the rest of my life.. i'd rather have someone whom i can be free spirited totally myself and open with.. LA LA LA

just some random thoughts... shu hua's fault!

tataaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

oh yea some photos from my recent advertising project photoshoot... thanks wei jie for an awesome job!!

a pretty accurate personality test :)

2009-03-19T16:35:00.003+08:00

shu hua introed me to this personality test... hmm.. pretty true! :) try it out guys if you're interested to know more about yourself :)

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

if you're interested in getting to know me better, here are my results hahaassss:

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

the "shalom" that comes with music :)

2009-03-15T01:57:00.002+08:00

omg.. it's 2am. and i've to prep for church in 4 hrs. i still have strategy to do up before tmrw's meeting..! omg.. why am i blogging?! hahas..

have a break, have a blog post!

geeh, i'm really going nuts.. :P all the projects gushing in and other non school commitments... but i'll get through!! and i thank God for all these learning experiences! although sometimes i get downright exhausted, i don't think i'd trade my life for any other.

most of all, i'm so glad i've resumed guitar! :) believer's music school is awesome too. i really like my guitar teacher, daniel. it's clear that he's teaching out of passion for music and dedication to God. you can see that he sincerely wants to make a difference through spreading the heart of worship... at the same time, he's very clear in his explanations.

for those who don't know, believer's music school is a christian music school. i'm totally loving it. and my classmates are nice too!

most importantly, whenever i'm tired from work or simply sad about something, i can find refuge in practising my guitar.. :)

once upon a time when i was young, i used to play the piano.. until grade 3 too! but due to a very discouraging teacher, i developed a phoebia for the piano.. for many years, i scringed when i saw the piano. sometimes, i'd feel sad too that i no longer could play the piano.. for many many years, i had this love hate relationship with music, a part of me wanting to find my way back to it and another part of me telling myself that i couldn't do it...

but i'm glad i've decided to take it up again, albeit through another instrument.. :) it just feels like... i've finally come to terms with something i've been struggling with for very long. :)

God is awesome.

Shalom.

2009-03-09T00:35:00.002+08:00

when you look into things and places you shouldn't be looking into

most times

you find something you shouldn't be seeing

and

you get hurt.

comfortable - john mayer :)

2009-03-08T02:37:00.007+08:00

I just remembered that time at the market

snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart

And rode down aisle five

you looked behind you and smile back at me

crashed into a rack full of magazines

they asked us if we could leave.

Can't remember what went wrong last September

though i'm sure you'd remind me, if you had to

Our love was, comfortable and so broken in

I sleep with this new girl I’m still getting used to

My friends all approve, say “she’s gonna be good for you.”

They throw me high fives.

She says the Bible is all that she reads.

and prefers that I not use profanity

Your mouth was so dirty

Life of the party,

And she swears that she’s artsy,

But you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane

Our love was comfortable and so broken in.

She’s perfect

So flawless,Or so they say.

Hey and

Say, Heyyyyy.

She thinks I can’t see the smile that she’s fakin’

Poses for pictures that aren’t being taken.

I loved you

grey sweat pants

No make up

So perfect

Our love was comfortable and so broken in.

She’s perfect

So flawless

I’m not impressed

I want you back

No, no, no, no I want you back.

Want you back.

Back.

That you were my first love

Is just dumb love.

A technicality.

You were ahead of me.

That you were my first love.

Is just dumb, dumb, stupid love.

A technicality.

You will always be ahead of me.

Oh, oh, tell me.

Why I have to practice on you.

Why I have to practice on your heart.Oh.

this song makes me smile and cry at the same time. :) beautiful song. for anybody who has ever loved and lost.

thanks leon for intro-ing the song.

sometimes, it hurts like crazy having loved and lost... still, when i think about it, would i rather have never loved at all? i know my answer is no, i don't regret anything. not a single moment.

because had i said no to love then, i think i'd have been a lesser person today. when you've loved with your everything, lost till it felt like you couldn't breathe and hurt till your heart felt like it was bleeding, you'll never be the same again. you break, you grow and you understand.

what's life without experiencing all that...

what's life without memories, immense joy, and excruciating pain...

and even now, i'll never forget the beautiful memories. :)

Facebook Statuses

2009-03-02T21:40:00.002+08:00

Mariko is...

depressed wondering why we bother getting close to people when things ALWAYS change and forever exists only in fairy tales.

so this is how the story ends

2009-03-02T20:15:00.003+08:00

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time

And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

These are just excerpts from the song (and not the full lyrics of), "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice that I relate most with at this juncture in my life.

Or rather, especially today.

So this is how the story ends - not the way I wanted it to ....... but aren't disappointments and pain part and parcel of life?

Still, it doesn't take away the pain... Hopefully, one day soon, I'll forget it all...

So this is how the story ends - no love no fame no glory.

(I know this is a highly enigmatic post. Readers may be thinking what the #!@%$!?)

But that's the way it's supposed to be because sometimes no words can adequately express what we think or feel, especially when the thoughts and emotions are closest to our hearts.

I'll Stand By You

2009-02-26T01:19:00.002+08:00

Carrie Underwood took a year off to travel to Africa to make a difference there among orphans who had lost their parents to AIDS, which is plaguing Africa at an alarming rate.

Here's a video of her work in Africa... Just a song you may say. But if she's using her fame and influence to request for donations from the world and to raise awareness about Africa's situation, perhaps, it's more than a song.

One day, I too hope to be in a position to use my influence to make a difference.. :)

something that broke my heart

2009-02-25T18:46:00.003+08:00

recently, i was talking to a friend (let's call that person, "friend") and he said something that broke my heart...

friend: "we (referring to himself and his Christian best friend) don't talk about religion because everytime we talk about religion, we fight. what's the point of talking about it then, if it only spoils our friendship right?"

me: "mmm... but even if both of you have differing religious views, it doesn't mean you cannot discuss your views. my best friend in the US is a buddhist and we shared openly with each other about our own religions.. it was a very rewarding experience."

friend: "yar... that's you. but somehow, when we talk about religion, things get ugly. we fight badly. so i've decided that we shall never talk about religion between us again..."

me: "alright, but i want you to know that it's okay if you don't believe in God ... we're all entitled to our own opinions."

this conversation was fleeting but it broke my heart. because it was an indication to me that we Christians need to be more respectful and understanding towards the religious views of others. we're called to love and to make a difference, not to push our views on others. and hopefully through our love for others, God will show Himself.

parachute band :)

2009-02-25T18:20:00.003+08:00

in the past, i only listened predominantly to hillsong and delirious when it came to Christian songs but recently, the new zealand christian band, parachute band, has captured my heart! :) especially since hillsong music has evolved into music of glory and graundeur. we need such grand music but sometimes, the simpler songs really really speak to your heart. like parachute band's music.

the reason why their music is so good? because many of them have struggled through very dark times... how true that adversity can make or break a man. :)

in the video below, lead singer, omega, shares his testimony on being born without a nose, the operations he had to go through, the mocking in school, the depression and attempted suicide and most importantly, how God has turned his life around... after which there is a live performance of "mercy" which omega wrote when recollecting his near suicide experience.

and that's one thing i admire about westerners ... they're not afraid to share on their vulnerabilities. i really admire that. to me, that's the true demonstration of strength and courage. when you dare to be honest with yourself, the ones you love, and the world.

an interview with an entrepreneur (an unusual one)

2009-02-24T16:59:00.008+08:00

yesterday, edwin, rachel, shu hua and i headed to geylang to have an interview with an entrepreneur, clinton ang!

an eloquent quick thinking but humble young man of 36 yrs, in spite of his success in growing his father's business 4 fold and his position as CEO of the company, cornerstone - a leading wine distributor in asia, he was clad in a non branded simple white shirt and his handphone was a modest 8250! apparently, he hadn't changed his handphone for 8 years! and, instead of a mercedes or volvo, he drove a kia!

in his interview with us, he shared about his life philosophies as well as how remaining modest and humble in his possessions helped keep him down to earth and clear-thinking. pride came before a fall, he believed, and he fought hard to resist that temptation.

what impressed me most though about this young entrepreneur was his strong and unwavering value system.

initially, when he had taken over his father's business, their major clients had been night clubs and pubs. but this went against his principles and as such, the first thing he did was to withdraw dealings with these pubs and clubs. this costed the company EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS but he stuck to his values, even though the price was high.

eventually, despite everybody's misgivings, he grew the company by 400% without compromising on his values. from hock tong bee, he changed the company's name to cornerstone to glorify the cornerstone of His life, Jesus.

it was an unforgettable and inspiring experience talking to this young entrepreneur. because it just went to show that you could achieve success without compromising totally on your values.

more importantly, it was a reminder that you had to have a dream in life. an international badminton player who had graduated from overseas (arizona state university), he could have gotten himself a job in any of the major companies. but he had a dream - to grow his father's business into a leading wine distributor across asia. and he has never looked back ever since.

what's your dream? :)

mine is to be a corporate communications leader specializing in corporate social responsibility. although corporate social responsibility isn't very big in asia yet, i hope to be part of spreading awareness about it. more importantly, i derive meaning from this path because firstly, on a pragmatic level, i am helping companies maintain their reputations and this in turn gives people jobs and career paths. secondly, corporate social responsibility in my opinion is about companies giving back to society and the world community at large. that's my way of making a difference...

but making a differences takes resources and influence which we have to work hard to establish when we're young.

that's my dream. what's yours?

geylang treats (no, not the girls... but the food!)

on a more light hearted note, we made it a point to go earlier to enjoy geylang food! :)

here's us enjoying our food! *slurps* with the exception of rachel who wasn't hungry... :P

rachel - no! don't take a photo of me! shu hua - hmmm, how can she not like taking photos?! i shall pose for the photo by sipping gleefully on my ice lemon tea :)

shu hua... shu hua... go audition to be a host on those food shows! u sure look the part! hee.

edwin is eating! i must buy 4d! so rare to see him eating! :)

yummy mee siam!!! :) :) guess who ate this? the sneaky one going around taking photos of her friends eating.. la la la.

don't look down on this otak okay! it costed THREE DOLLARS! LOLLLL

:) :)

2009-02-24T16:06:00.005+08:00

loving and living

so i was feeling low and exhausted yesterday and for the good part of today... but as always, God remains faithful and when i opened daily bread, these words jumped out at me...

God uses us to show His love
To people caught in life’s despair;
Our deeds of kindness open doors
To talk of God and His great care. —Sper

One measure of our likeness to Christ is our sensitivity to the suffering of others.

:)

i'll be downright honest here that although my mission in life is to make a difference so that one day i may be remembered for love and inspiration...it gets downright tiring sometimes. especially when you get taken for a ride. but yet again, i remember how faithful God has been and i wouldn't mind doing it all over again... for Him, if not for anybody or anything else.

gadgets

i dropped my gleaming new lovely LG secret handphone remember? and the chip/dent was gapingly staring back at me. i couldn't take it!!! so with shu hua, i went to bugis to wrap it up nicely with a handphone skin. :) it costed me 50 bucks (!!!) but it protects my precious handphone and it looks pretty and elegant.. so it's alright. PLUS IT COVERS THAT STUPID DENT! hahahaha... i'll try to take a photo of it soon.. but i'll need someone else's handphone to do that! because it's a photo of my own handphone! how can i use my handphone right?!

words and sincerity :)

i received an email about 6 days ago. although the words were simple and seemingly trite or contrived, when i read them, i smiled and teared a little because i could feel the sincerity shining through from a very sweet and earnest spirit. i thank God for such people in my life who inspire me just by being who they are. because in a world of insincerity and despair, they maintain such loving and sincere souls. :)

2009-02-23T01:03:00.008+08:00

for some reason, i'm feeling extremely shagged and exhausted. not just physically but in every sense of the word.

bought the LG secret today which is a cool touch screen phone.. but guess what? i dropped it within hrs of buying it. lol. and now, it's chipped quite badly booo...

also tried out old town coffee, a cafe near my place which i've never tried after shifting to my current home for so many months. more on that another time...

for now, i'm too shagged to do anything but shower and hit the sack..

i'm beginning to question what i'm doing all this for.

when all i want to do is to lie in bed for one full day without doing anything...

when i can't help but feel like all my efforts are falling into a bottomless pit. (and this is not referring to any one particular area in life... just everything in general.)

studies wise, everything feels over the top this semester, what with business processes and finance to screw my mind...

church wise, despite all the time and effort, it doesn't seem to be going anywhere...

farewells wise, i spent 40SD on someone who smsed everybody to say goodbye after passing through the immigration but somehow forgot about me in spite of having my number for sure... another one is coming up and i don't think anybody will ever understand or know the amount of work and finances that has gone into the planning and execution of it...

friendship wise, i have no idea why despite my trying to cheer u up or lift ur spirits, you only seem to feel more depressed... it makes me feel like such a failure.

i think i should just stop typing and head to bed before i say anything else.. lol.. also, tomorrow is a looong day, what with the interview with an entrepreneur for entrepreneur management and advertising project meeting at night.. =x

nights...

the fear you won't fall - joshua radin

2009-02-19T23:22:00.002+08:00

Digging a hole
And the walls are caving in,
Behind me,
Airs getting thin,
But I'm trying,
I'm breathing in,
Come find me,

It hasn't felt like this before,
It hasn't felt like home for you,

And I know it's easy to say,
But it's harder to feel this way,
I miss you more than I should,
Than I thought I could,
Can't get my mind off of you,

I know you're scared,
That I'll soon be over it,
That's part of it all,
Part of the beauty,
Of falling in love with you,
Is the fear that you won't fall,

It hasn't felt like this before,
It hasn't felt like home for you,

And I know it's easy to say,
But it's harder to feel this way,
I miss you more than I should,
Than I thought I could,
Can't get my mind off of you,

And I hate the phone,
But I wish you'd call,
Thought being alone,
Was better than,
Was better than,

And I know it's easy to say,
But it's harder to feel this way,
I miss you more than I should,
Than I thought I could,
Can't get my mind off of you,

Can't get my mind off of you,

And I know it's easy to say,
But it's harder to feel this way,
I miss you more than I should,
Than I thought I could,
Can't get my mind off of you,

And I know it's easy to say,
But it's harder to feel this way

thanks leon for intro-ing this song to me. it's beautiful and ... it's haunting my thoughts, heart and soul. emotionally penetrating, heartfelt but simple...

and i've made one insightful discovery (hurrah)! :) that the best love songs in this world are often on... missing. seriously! go analyze all the famous love songs... the common theme is missing.

perhaps that's when we realize the depth of our emotions ... when we're missing.

flutter those eyelids! :) :)

2009-02-19T15:03:00.010+08:00

recently, shu hua has been psycho-ing me to get fake eyelashes.. initially i was totally unreceptive. but my sneaky mum started buying a few pairs and leaving them around the house. so... i got curious and applied a pair today. surprisingly, i am hooked onto them now! :) :)

i swear shu hua and my mum must have colluded with each other!!!!

apparently i'm not the only one who likes these eyelashes... the celebrities do too! :P (refer to the pic above). and naively, i've always wondered what kind of mascara they must be using to achieve such a beautiful lash effect!!!

don't worry, mine are not so pronounced.. i like the natural look. :)

and here's a mac pro makeup artist sharing on how to apply fake eyelashes.. hahas.

ok i'm wayy too bored in promotions management class. but on the bright side, i participated actively today! lol. yay! mini achievement.. :)

it's true that we need to congratulate ourselves for little achievements in order to keep ourselves going! because mini milestones lead to big success... that applies to anything! career, picking up a new instrument and even relationships! if we keep thinking of what we haven't achieved, what effect is that going to have, except demoralize ourselves.. :(

i've also decided to post more light hearted posts sometimes.. that explains this slightly "bimbotic" post.. life's so short. why take it so seriously all the time?! la la la.

i'll be watching casino royale tonight for advertising class tomorrow... thoughts on that tomorrow!

and i had the sarawak kolo mee with my mum at marina square today... it only costs 2RM in sarawak but..... 6.90SD in singapore! omg... lol. it was pretty good though. :)

physically apart but close at heart

today and yesterday, i heard from my dear friends overseas. hearing from them ALWAYS warms my heart! :) ho yan dearie sent me an email (can't wait to see her during my grad trip to the US soon!), maegan dropped a wall post (and i'm MSN-ing with her now), and jean msn-ed with me yesterday too! not forgetting patrick who dropped me an email... it's always heartwarming to know that across the distance, you're in someone's thoughts. :)

free falling :)

2009-02-19T13:27:00.007+08:00

omggg.. i love john mayer! (and i'm glad he has broken up with jessica simpson *bitch alert*). i hear he's with jennifer aniston now... good choice, john mayer! beats jessica simpson who thinks tuna is a kind of chicken... *faints*

anyway, here is an amazing amazing song!!! it's called "free falling" and it makes you free fall into it b/c it's so good!!!

andddddd, i think it's so amazing too that john mayer and his band can play so in sync with one other... it's my dream and hope that one day i can play the guitar with some of my youths like that... wooot! cool isn't it? :) playing alone ain't fun at all...plus, music is so much more fun when... shared! :)

arghhh. i miss my guitarrr! had to put my guitar away so i wouldn't spend 4 hrs everyday playing it, like i used to... it was getting in the way of my studies so i had to force myself to stop totally until this sem is over.. but i miss it.. like crazy!!! nvm.. this sem is almost over.. and then i can play and play and play! la la la.

for now, time to head to school and study hard for bp midterms on sat! :)

more than meets the eye

2009-02-19T00:33:00.013+08:00

hello!!!! wooo hooo... what an enigmatic title huh? "more than meets the eye"... so what is it that does not meet the eye and that is coveted by superficial appearances.. la la la.

well, on a more literal level, food is always more than meets the eye in photos right! Haha.

about two weeks ago, my best friend and i headed to new york new york deli in centerpoint... it's part of the new york new york restaurant chain but it's a deli. so the focus of the menu is on finger food, sandwiches and salads.. but boy were they good! :)

just last night, too, i met chau.. because she's going back to vietnam permanently!! =( =( and we had dinner at waraku, heeren. :p

refreshing cooler drinks! =)

cheese fries!!! omg the melted cheese and sour cream yum yum! SINFUL!

smoked salmon sandwich.. omg.. i have a weakness for smoked salmon!

portobello mushrooms... soooo juicy!!!!!

awwwwwwwww.

wooo hoo... they match! and dun they look chic... la la la. my new laptop and my wallet!

doesn't my mum look like she has something up her sleeve? hur hur..

best friends!

chau - "omg.. what should i eat? i'm spoilt for choice" hehe

salad doesn't always look this good.. yummmm!

neither does it always come in such generous helpings whee!

my sinful hamburg steak! but nothing beats my grandma's home made ones.. *nostalgia*

beyond food though, i gave this entry such a title because certain things have been happening that have made me realize that in life, the things which really matter are never evident to a person who uses his or her eyes to observe. such truths can only be perceived with the heart, never the eye.

as such, the friends who truly care may not always be the ones you expect to care. they may be the very ones you've neglected or never deemed as important in your life. that's the thought that crossed my mind in light of recent events.

personally, i've been on both ends of the spectrum. yes i've had friends i'd neglected only to find that they were my truer friends, and yet, at the same time, i've cared for people who valued other friends more than me.

but anyway, i've concluded that i will cherish the people who treasure me. and i'll keep my eyes and heart wide open to be able to discern between those who truly care and those who are conveniently around me. because i don't want to put those who truly care about me through the pain of knowing that no matter how much they give, they'll never mean as much as other friends who don't really care. some people are just too blind to sift the gems from the stones. but i hope to master that art... and i believe that God will give me that discernment and vision. :)

emotionally drained :(

2009-02-15T23:07:00.009+08:00

tired and drained after a looong day and i have the "business processes" project to rush by tomorrow. tomorrow's an early day too! starting at 830am.. omg. with meetings and classes all the way until 645pm after which i have to rush to the airport.

thus, i shan't be typing much tonight.

all i can say is that i don't feel... great. today during service my heart felt so heavy that i couldn't sing a single word of praise and worship with joy. not good. maybe the songs didn't connect with me b/c they were predominantly in chinese today.

but most of all, excuses aside, i think i'm emotionally drained from being the strong pillar of support for many. most times, i'm glad to make a difference in the lives of people around me. that's my driving force in life.

yet, there are times like now when i feel i can't be strong all the time. when i wish i had a pillar of support to rely on when i felt tired, drained and vulnerable.

sure, i may adorn a strong big sister and sometimes even "intimidating" persona most times. it's not that it's not part of my personality. but, deep deep down, at times, i still feel like a little girl who needs love, attention and appreciation too.

but b/c of that strong self-sufficient image, nobody knows this of course. so who can i blame but myself? LOL.

and so, i continue to serve others and look out for their needs. but when i'm tired and in need of love myself, all i can do is to withdraw, withdraw, withdraw....

omgggg...

2009-02-13T00:37:00.013+08:00

omgggg... my dear best friend wants to cross dress for his formal hall dinner. pls reassure me that hanging out with me has not made him go....... the other way!!!! noooo. i can't believe i'll be sharing my dress and heels with my best friend whose a GUY... yes.... GUY...

andddd... i've been ms tomato for a week now. if you don't already know, vain pot me applied a very strong acne cream on my face which caused serious chemical burns that worsened and got infected when i applied make up on the open wounds! anyway, after seeing the free doctor in my school (thank u SMU!), it's better because of the antibiotics he prescribed me. still, you can see that it's swollen and i can't put on my darling foundation!!! BOOOOO~~~~

i feel so...... naked..... without foundation on my face. *sobs*

life's been hectic hectic hectic... 2 farewells, church ministries, 6 CUs, guitar lessons starting soon, the teaching assistant position for my favorite prof, prof ong siow heng(!), and of course family and friends....

but God has been faithful as usual and i can feel His blessing and love always.

oh yes! happy v day to alllllll! no v day plans for me this year but strangely, it doesn't bug me the way it did the year before.. i'm happy to spend it with my parents and doggy!!!! and and... i'm looking forward to giving myself the v day treat of snuggling under my comfy quilt and having a good night's sleep for the first time in a long while. omggg, i'm so easily contented. :) :)

whatever all of you are doing on v day though........ enjoy yourselves, hope you find love or have found love, and most of all, just be happy!!! even if you don't have anyone, it's still a day to celebrate the love in our lives... love comes in many forms, always remember that. it doesn't always have to be in the form or erotic love or a romantic relationship!

today i received a short and simple sms that warmed the heart.

"i hear your pain and i promise i'll be here to help you through. "

the beauty of friendship. sometimes, you just know what the other is going through without needing to exchange a single word about it.

a cute conversation and a cool hair accessory hahas

2009-02-09T23:22:00.004+08:00

cute conversation

9/2/2009 10:22:20 PM Shuhua yeahhhhhhhh
9/2/2009 10:22:23 PM Shuhua u bettter go!
9/2/2009 10:22:28 PM Shuhua have u read wanxiang?
9/2/2009 10:24:35 PM ~*mar*~ not yet
9/2/2009 10:24:37 PM ~*mar*~ gonna read soon
9/2/2009 10:24:40 PM ~*mar*~ dun intend to zzz tonight
9/2/2009 10:24:42 PM ~*mar*~ i slept all day!
9/2/2009 10:24:43 PM ~*mar*~ OMG
9/2/2009 10:25:55 PM Shuhua awww....
9/2/2009 10:26:02 PM Shuhua this is bad for you babee.e...
9/2/2009 10:26:14 PM Shuhua e less u sleep... e more u're gonna scatch ur face. :(
9/2/2009 10:29:58 PM Shuhua i'm done with my speech
9/2/2009 10:30:08 PM Shuhua emo nemo 1 says bye to emo nemo 2.
9/2/2009 10:30:09 PM Shuhua tata!
9/2/2009 10:30:14 PM Shuhua not that i'm sleepy.
9/2/2009 10:30:15 PM Shuhua but emo
9/2/2009 10:30:52 PM ~*mar*~ ok ok
9/2/2009 10:30:54 PM ~*mar*~ go sleep yah
9/2/2009 10:30:55 PM ~*mar*~ =D
9/2/2009 10:30:56 PM ~*mar*~ if u wanna
9/2/2009 10:30:57 PM ~*mar*~ =D
9/2/2009 10:30:58 PM ~*mar*~ hugs
9/2/2009 10:31:01 PM ~*mar*~ sleep tight dear

hahas. the term "emo nemo" is sooo cute. :) emo nemo 1 says bye to emo nemo 2. :)

happie hair!

whoa, this invention is so cool!! u can put something in ur hair so it doesn't look so flat!!! coollll. hahas. only for girls though of course. :)

to check it out:
http://www.bighappiehair.com/

cool huh?! hahas.

ok i shall stop typing rubbish and start reading the wan xiang case for class tomorrow morning!!!

(ps: can someone invent something to stop me from scratching my face!!! because of some allergic reaction, my face is swollen like a tomato and ITCHY!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHH. helpppp!!! i'll see the school doc tomorrow, i promise. and edwin wee: u better stop calling me ms tomato or i'll call u mr cucumber HMPH!)

songs of the heart :)

2009-02-09T11:01:00.006+08:00

thanks lots big eye friend and shu hua dear for intro-ing these songs to me. :) i love them both! whoa, i feel effectively bilingual - one english and one chinese song hahas

chasing pavements - adele

Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up,
Or should i just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

For the full lyrics: http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858697062/

带我走-杨丞琳

带我走到遥远的以后带走我一个人自转的寂寞带我走就算我的爱你的自由都将成为泡沫我不怕带我走

For the full lyrics: http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/73911897.html?si=7

chasing pavements... 带我走

closer

2009-02-08T21:59:00.005+08:00

recently, due to certain events in my life, i've been pondering about the definition of "closeness". in other words, many of us use the term "close" quite loosely. oh he or she is my close friend.. or we're close. but what do we really mean when we say that?

of course such definitions are subjective. i may define it very differently from another person who may define it differently from yet another person.

some may define a close friend as someone they can talk endlessly with and still others may define a close friend as someone they can sit in silence with and yet feel totally comfortable about it.

so, there i was - sitting in the bus pondering about my definition of closeness. and i came up with my own definition. :)

to me, a close friend is someone whom i know i can ask for help without fearing rejection because i trust that that friend will do everything in his or her power to help me. at the same time, a close friend is also one of the first few people i'll share good or bad news, personal experiences, and emotions, with. in other words, i will think of that person to share the news with when anything unexpected happens. that to me is closeness.

the reason why i have not added being able to talk endlessly into the equation is... sometimes verbal communication isn't everything, is it? and sometimes, many things can be said in the unsaid. :)

that's my definiton - what's yours? :)

thank you :)

2009-02-05T23:10:00.003+08:00

today i received a piece of good news. and i'd like to thank my dear family and friends who were happy for me. somehow joy is so much sweeter when shared. most of all, thank You God. i see how You have made everything fit together. it's hard sometimes to continue to cling onto You when things get messy. but i will continue to trust You because i have faith that just as You have guided my past, so will You make a glorious outcome out of any mess in my life.

:)

2009-02-05T02:23:00.013+08:00

a new... laptop! :)

i'm so happy with my new... laptop! :) it's nothing fancy but i'm still very happy with it because the trackpad works and the keys actually have the alphabets still printed on them!!! (you must be thinking - omg her previous laptop must have been a laptop from hell.. she's happy with the basics that any laptop should provide?).

yea, yea, my previous laptop was in a deplorable condition... and truth be told, it's mostly my fault. :( i used it to the point the trackpad wasn't working anymore and the alphabets on the keys had faded off so that only i could type on my laptop - nobody else could. :P only i knew my laptop well enough to know which keys were for which alphabets.

anyway, those days are over and introducing my new laptop! :)

nec s5500! it's supposed to have been designed by this famous designer in japan... perhaps, to some, it's not as stylish and elegant as a macair but i'm still very happy with it. i love the color and the simple design. :)

american college life and long distancing

just tonight, too, shu hua introduced me to this blog. i don't usually read the blogs of people i don't know but this blog drew me into it because the blogger, suet, a malaysian scholar in a prestigious american university reminds me so much of... myself back when i was in the states!

the odd jobs to earn pocket money and extra cash, the view from her window of snow twinkling in the morning sunlight, the long distance relationship, the webcamming with family and friends back home and most of all, all the emotions...

i must say i admire suet and her boyfriend, barry, though. they've long distanced for 3 yrs! omg. it sure takes a lot of patience and willpower!!!

http://www.sweatlee.com/

delayed graduation

and, guess what? i won't be graduating this may after all! because of some mix up, i have to do just one more class in the semester of aug 2009 to dec 2009.

i'm not too upset though for several reasons. the job market is so so bad now. this delay actually buys me time! since i'm not graduating in may, i won't feel so bad about taking up an internship in june.. :) if after the internship, the company wishes to convert me into a perm staff, that's no issue either because smu offers classes in the evenings and on sats. besides, i only have one more class, so that's just once a week. i can easily do that one class even while working... so it's totally fine. moreover, i'll be graduating with one of my 2 best buds in smu too that's another bright side to this mix up.

still, i will go for my grad trip in may since by may i would only have one class left anyway.

a million other thoughts are racing through my head but they're too private to be shared here.. so off to bed i go alone with my thoughts, wishes, hopes and fears.

Managing the Mess

2009-02-03T20:34:00.008+08:00

Today, as I was heading to school in the morning, I was feeling so low and so messed up. It just felt as if everything in my life was going topsy turvy. I know things will work out somehow but still, it's only natural to have such feelings sometimes of being overwhelmed and lost.

So I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep in the quiet of the bus carrying tired office workers also lost in their own worlds, to work.

Instead of sleeping though, I whispered a prayer, "Lord, thank You for everything that You've blessed me with. I know that in more ways than one, I'm very blessed. But Lord, I need some answers now- I really do. Please, Lord, I pray that You'll open the way for the answers I need to be revealed.. Please."

With that, I opened my Daily Bread publication and this passage jumped out at me. It was titled, "Managing the Mess" and the portion of the passage that really caught my eye was,

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysteries shall be bright at last
Stand back and watch the Lord manage your mess into a glorious outcome

That was it - the tears started rolling down my cheeks. I felt as if God had spoken, reassuring me that everything would be alright and He would never ever leave my side.

It's so hard though, sometimes, having to live with emotional ambiguity and wondering, watching relationships fall apart, feeling the pain of loved ones, saying goodbye, and the current job situation isn't making things better either.

But, I'll just lift the mess all up to Him. And, just as He has proven faithful in my past, so will He "manage my mess into a glorious outcome". Someday, I'll understand. Someday.

BGR Talk Conducted by Fei Yue Speaker on 7th Feb :)

2009-02-02T09:26:00.006+08:00

My church has organized a BGR Talk on Saturday 7th Feb to be conducted by a Fei Yue speaker with 10 years' experience in counselling. :)

Yesterday, Glenn, Hanna and I stayed behind after service to prepare the poster and leaflets (to be printed in black and white) for the talk.

Nothing fancy but it does the job of letting others know about it. :)

Poster

Flyers (to be printed in black & white)

Assuredly Yours

2009-02-01T20:41:00.001+08:00

All that I am is in You
All that I seek is to follow You
I run to Your side when You call
There is the hope I am longing for

Just to be by your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I’ll find

So take my life
And all that I have to give
Take my world
Just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
Make me assuredly Yours

just for tonight

2009-02-01T20:00:00.005+08:00

just for tonight
i'm feeling under the weather and blue
thinking of separation, unfulfilled love and change
most days i'm ok
most days the sun continues to shine
and life goes on as if i've not a care in the world
but sometimes
and just for tonight
the heartaches are returning to me
and i'm not going to fight them
because what is life without heartaches
most days the sun continues to shine
so perhaps tomorrow
the day after tomorrow
the sun will shine again
but just for tonight
the sun has lost its lustre
and the moon's a duller blue.

Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)

2009-01-31T22:33:00.004+08:00

i totally love this song!! :) :) from the movie, "amazing grace"! :) :)

Lunar New Year Cheer :)

2009-01-29T23:49:00.016+08:00

this was written day before yesterday:

i'm sleepy! and tomorrow i have a written test as part of my application for a certain company. so off to bed for me! but meanwhile, i shall leave you with photos taken over the lunar new year hols.... as for the explanations, till the next time! whoa, such a cliff hanger, i like! :)

(... continued from the day before yesterday)

i'm in finance make up class now... omg - dyinggg. the prof is not a bad prof at all but i'm just very unmotivated for this subject because there simply isn't that interest. :( still, sometimes, we have to do what we don't like and i'm still going to give it my best by mugging the textbook!!!!! hopefully, i still get a decent grade - minimum B. =x

ANYWAY, i promised to update this post with captions for the photos, so here i am... keeping my promise! :)

whose that pretty princess? hehe... kidding, obviously. that's me after sunday service on the eve of lunar new year. then the lunar new year hols had seemed so long but alas, it flew by... before i knew it, back to school!!!

like mother like daughter! think gilmore girls. :)

this is where my mum and i had our reunion dinner :). daddy was back in japan to visit my grandpapa so he couldn't join us BUT we're going to lao yu sheng tonight!btw, the international buffet at cafe biz, traders hotel, is OUT OF THIS WORLD fantastic! :)

mummy with her favorite oysters!! which she ate 15 of. why wasn't i surprised when she had a diarhoea after that?! not that the oysters sucked.. they were very good.. but too much of anything is never good!

ohhh.. look @ those oysters!! mmmyummmm... they were so fresh, succulent and smooth... :D

lobster! it reminds me of... john, my dear bro, whenever he goes swimming! LOL. he turns as red as the lobster b/c of the sun!

chocolate fondeau!!!! reminds me of leon and the time when we had a wonderful buffet at a really swanky hotel in hong kong, for freeeeeee. leon got the voucher in some lucky dip at a hong kong department store... whoa, i need his luck!

my all time favorite - sushiiiiiii...... sashimi....... maybe when i die, people will find many many worms in my stomach for all the sushi i've eaten in my life.. but heck! the sashimi is too good for me to care. lol.

there's a time for the sweets always!!! yummmm.

oh oh look at the "buddha jump over the wall"! :)

my mummy's big sis... do they look alike? :)

whose that?!

emma emma... she's such a princess, isn't she?

scarlett dear!!! she followed me home one day after school back when i was in secondary school... she had a collar so she was definitely a lost dog... but i couldn't keep her b/c my own dog, eric, was such a terror... so she was scooted off to my aunt's place with her huge compounds!

bobo! my cousin's darling and baby!

whoa, look at the mountain of sunshine! :)

me in my favorite marc jacob shades!!! :)

my dear dear friend all the way from JC... kwan mei dear.. hehe.

awwwww... look @ my mentor's grandson! isn't he just so adorable?! like a doll?!

note the similarities between grandpa and grandson? :)

i had a great lunar new year. i hope everybody did too!

nonetheless, this thought crossed my mind - so, we're here having a good time during this festive season. but what about those who have nobody around them during these festive times? i was there before, myself, and i'll never forget that feeling. never ever. but i'm glad for that experience because it taught me compassion and most of all, it helped me see that much as success and achievements are important, we must always make time for the people in our lives, because they're the ones who make life worth living and meaningful.

today, i received an email from someone i admire for his humility and warmth. currently, he's occupying a very high leadership position in a top mnc communications firm. in his email, he reminded me to always make time for family, true friends and colleagues no matter how busy i may become, because work is endless and the people in our lives are important blessings we should never take for granted. i couldn't agree more. and i'm glad that a business leader recognizes this - it's very encouraging. :)

it's not the way you begin...

2009-01-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

but the way you finish that marks who you really are.

Mighty to Save! :)

2009-01-27T05:14:00.003+08:00

somehow, through all the heartbreaks and failures in life, i'm still feeling very blessed, at peace and joyful because i'm reminded that i've a God who loves me so so much. i know this because when i look back on my eventful life, through all the ups and downs, i've never ever felt alone.

in my darkest hours, just when i've felt like giving up totally, blessings were sent my way to keep me going... could they all be mere coincidences? even if they were coincidences, they were way too deliberate. they seemed almost like planned coincidences.

God has never ever abandoned me through it all and for that i love Him so so so much. with Him, i fear nothing because He is so so awesome and in His name, i can do anything! neither will i ever be left high and dry! :)

may the people around me see how blessed i am and through me may they see the amazing love of God for His people!

"Shine Your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King!"

2009-01-27T04:19:00.010+08:00

it stings... how you moved on so fast from what you had shared with me when i had given you nearly 5 years of my life... while you're still hankering after her, with whom you shared only a few months...

you're still grieving over her 6 months after your break up with her but when we had broken up, you had barely grieved for a few weeks, if not days...

did the 5 years of my life mean so little?

yet again she makes for more beautiful memories, doesn't she? the typical ex girlfriend you can romanticize about with her long straight flowy hair and slim silhoutte... men are visual creatures, they say.

it ain't just you - all the men i'd ever given my heart to... what meant so much to me probably never meant even a fraction as much to them...

but it's okay... all these men have only made me (more jaded, yes, but) stronger. still, i will never ever love as wholeheartedly as i once did anymore. it's not that i don't wish to but you've all taught me that it just ain't worth it to love another human being so much.

such love should only be reserved for God and God alone. because He will never fail me and in His eyes, i'm so so precious, the way i never was with you and never will be.

and strangely, when it comes to men, it seems a trend to me that the more i love them, the more they take that love for granted and don't give a damn. at the same time, they hanker after the very girls who don't give a damn about them or don't care as much. so really, why care so much? why even bothering caring? nobody asked me to, as i've been told by a guy whom i had similarly cared deeply for.

nobody asked me to.

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

2009-01-25T23:12:00.005+08:00

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm trying to get back

Before the cool done run out, I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love

Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate, our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

D-d-do do you, but do you, d-d-do
But do you want to come on
Scooch on over closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed

I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do, our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Come on and open up your mind and see like me
(I won't hesitate)
Open up your plans and damn you're free
(No more, no more)
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
(It cannot wait, I'm sure)

So please don't, there's no need
(There's no need to complicate)
There's no need to complicate
(Our time is short)
'Cause our time is short
(This is our fate)
This is, this is, this is our fate
I'm yours

Oh, I'm yours
Oh, I'm yours
Oh, whoa, baby you believe I'm yours
You best believe, best believe I'm yours

an all time favorite song of mine - omggg. jason mraz is GIFTED!!!

fleeting moments

2009-01-25T21:53:00.007+08:00

sometimes, it's sad yet amazing how we meet people and our paths cross just for that fleeting moment in time. a handshake, a hug, mutual appreciation, a few hours of conversations and time together, and it's back to our own lives, as if we'd never met at all. it can be anybody - someone you spoke to on a long haul flight, a stranger in the bus, anybody... for those fleeting moments in our lives, we shared, appreciated and laughed but with a simple farewell, life goes on, changed and yet having not changed very much at all.

my favorite rendition of "Lord I Give You my Heart" :)

2009-01-24T12:17:00.003+08:00

this is my ALL-TIME favorite rendition of the song, "Lord I Give You my Heart"!!!

the lead singer's voice is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! she may not look like anything much but when she sings, you can truly feel the anointing pouring forth on her... she's almost glowing!!! and her voice is so angelic!

God is simply awesome... when you serve Him with all your heart, all your mind and all your soul, He will anoint you so that His name may be glorified and hope can be brought to so many people. :)

The God of Victory

2009-01-23T04:19:00.004+08:00

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.

2 Corinthians 2:14

Sometimes, it seems as if I'll never make it through this semester - what with 6 mods, job applications, filing for graduation, church commitments, and guitar lessons in March. But, whenever I feel that way, I remember that all I have to do is to pray with all my heart, soul and mind, and God will give me the strength and victory! :)

Recently, too many miracles have occurred in my life for me to doubt His existence, majestic power and amazing love. Through all the crazy ups and downs in life, He's proven faithful.. and I know that I'll always be safe, blessed and loved in the palm of His loving hands.

There was a point of time in my life some years back when I feared being alone or never finding true love for the rest of my life.

But I've grown to realize that no human being can ever love me truly deeply and madly the way God does. Human love pales in comparison. Even if at a moment in time, he loves me truly deeply and madly, human love is way too fragile and unpredictable.

Material pursuits are likewise as volatile as the wind - one moment you're on top of the world and the next minute, everything can be taken away from you.

So, our purpose and strength must always come from the one constant source of unfailing love - God.

After understanding that, somehow, I no longer fear being alone and I could spend my entire life focussing on glorifying and serving Him. :)

Afterall by William Fitzsimmons and Brooke Fraser (from Hillsong, that's right heh)

2009-01-21T01:06:00.003+08:00

"I still love you afterall... I still want you afterall... Please don't leave me after all..."

Beautiful song... Simple but heartfelt... I love such songs. =)

For the full lyrics,

http://www.tsrocks.com/w/william_fitzsimmons_texts/afterall.html

a random hug =D

2009-01-20T21:23:00.013+08:00

weird as this may sound, i just suddenly felt like hugging GOD =) and some people in my life.

my mum for always trying her best to be there for me - even if i don't always express it, it means the world to me. =)

my brothers and sisters in Christ who've likewise been so supportive and caring always =D. leon, glenn, sheena, hanna, john, esther... i really cherish my spiritual family very much.

shu hua dear for always remembering me in thoughts and prayers whenever something major happened in my life and for her gift of companionship and friendship =)

kwanie dear for all the long nights of chit chatting over botak jones and drinks =) most of all, for the yearsssss of friendship, since we were toot kias in NJC! =x

leon for always looking out for me in church, for the general information he shares with me, and for just being... there =)

bro philip for patiently mentoring and guiding me through life and its challenges

edwin weeeee for lending a hand always around school, listening so patiently whenever i faced something i felt i couldn't handle and for just being a great friend =)

maegan and jean for our friendship across time and space.. even if we're miles apart in person, i know they're always there for me in spirit and heart... i appreciate that very much. thank God for MSN, facebook, and email! i know i'll see them one day soon too. =)

daniel for being there for me at a point of time in my life when i'd been lost and vulnerable. i'll never forget that, even if he doesn't know it.

arcadia dear for being such a lovely angel and bringing a smile to my face everytime i think of her. =)

and most of all GODDDDDDD for watching over me always such that i don't ever have to be afraid b/c i know everything is in His hands and He loves me soooooooo much!!!

last but not least, for everybody whom i've crossed paths with and who has made a difference in my life.

friendship :)

2009-01-20T21:03:00.004+08:00

it wasn't me...

2009-01-20T00:19:00.017+08:00

so many times, i've wished that i could make you laugh and smile the way she does. so many nights of silent tears and aching; of looking the other way and trying to ignore your laughter or the twinkle in your eyes when she's around you; of pretending not to care when you reply me monosyllabically or move away from me.

then, one fine day, i realized that it wasn't me (it never has been) - it wasn't that i couldn't make you smile. you never allowed me to in the first place. deep down, you were always afraid... of me, of my friendship and of what we could be.

and i'm tired of how your fears make me feel downright lousy about myself.

don't you see... that she's never cared about you and never will.

hugs

2009-01-20T00:10:00.001+08:00

thank you my dear family and friends for your support as i went for my interview today.. *hugs hugs HUGS*

family and friends rock! :)

sentosa waves and breeze! :)

2009-01-19T22:13:00.006+08:00

last saturday, i headed to sentosa with my brothers and sisters in Christ!!! it was glenn's idea probably because he wanted to visit as many places as he could before leaving for the US in march. i mentioned it to john who picked up on the idea enthusiastically... and that was the birth of our decision to visit sentosa!

before that, though, we had an awesome awesome lunch at a spanish fast food restaurant in vivo city called barcelonas!!! omg.. the food was simply amazing.. mind blowing.. at reasonable prices too!

my chicken cheese burger... omg.. it was HEAVENLY!

spicy fries which leon and i ordered to share.. yummmyyyy!

john - omg.. just look at that burger...!!!!! it's so huge that i'm... scared!!!

chicken and cheese wrap..... YUM!!!!

wooo... look at those 2 pretty babes aka mei nus!!!

while the rest of them played frisbee and volleyball, i requested for some time alone because i was down over certain things that had happened the day before. so, i strolled to silosa beach from palawan beach (where the rest were) and sipped on diet coke at a cafe cum bar along siloso beach while people watching and simply enjoying the breeze. :)

i noticed one difference between palawan and siloso!!!! palawan had many families while all the bikini babes and hunks were clustered at... siloso!!! i wonder how this segmentation came about! interesting :). of course glenn, john and leon, being guys, complained that we should have gone to siloso when i told them about the bikini babes there. lol.

it looks kinda dark here but trust me, it was beautiful weather.. breezy.. =) =)

me bikini babe watching... er.. i mean, enjoying quiet time alone! =P but there were two REALLY HOT babes sitting at the table opposite me studying and sipping on cocktails... i couldn't resist staring at them.. slurps! LOL

sipping on my fav drink at a cafe along siloso beach. guess how much it costed? 4 frigging dollars!!! SENTOSA PRICES!

isn't that castle quaint? i saw it at night, too, and it was mystical... beautiful!

oh look at those pretty pretty flowers :) they sure do cheer the heart!

strolling around watching families, friends and lovers strolling around sentosa :)

sentosa is quite a beautiful and relaxing place. i wouldn't mind spending a weekend there just to recuperate from a busy and hectic lifestyle. who says we need to take a plane to experience laid back island living?

i'd love to go there again one day.. just to chill and enjoy the entire atmosphere.. :)

just one of those days when the world seems grey...

2009-01-17T01:18:00.004+08:00

omg.. the puppy looks so cute even when it's sad and sulking!!! unfortunately, we humans rarely look as cute when we're down! =(

today, while in school, i was very hyper and happy but later in the evening, everything came crashing down. it's just one of those days i guess when we feel useless, unappreciated, demoralised, discouraged, and simply put, downright... sad.

i need time to get over inhibitions and phoebia. i need encouragement to take on something new which i'd NEVER expected to be entrusted with but all i get is pressure... it's seriously very very demoralizing...

and just because i can't do something concrete like playing an instrument well or teaching/sharing, does that mean i'm useless and not contributing? is coordination or people management not something that requires a huge amount of effort too?

at least in school, my efforts are rewarded in some way or another.. not that i do things for rewards but at least the rewards are encouraging. but in ******, it's a lot of pressure, frustration and demoralization.. haiz.

tomorrow will be a better day i hope. i'm just going to hit the sack for now.

beautiful soul - jesse mccartney

2009-01-15T21:10:00.002+08:00

[Chorus]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah
You might need time to think it over
But im just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

job hunt woes and graduation woes =x

2009-01-15T20:50:00.012+08:00

somehow, when you're a university student, graduation always seems sooooo farrrr away. but alas, time does pass and before you know it, it's time to graduate... all those years of laughing at seniors frantically applying for jobs, and soon, it's your own turn. omg.

although i know spending on my interview next mon is a worthwhile investment, i still really really feel the pinch forking out the 200SD, arghhhhh! but i had no choice - my existing wallet and shoes are in deplorable conditions and i can't wear the only funky professional outfit i have that is suitable for a PR interview because they've seen me in it!!

that said, here are the things i bought today:

charles and keith =)

an esprit wallet =)

a smart and yet funky skirt

it's sooo hard dressing up for a public relations interview. you can't wear the normal blazers and suits because that would come across as too straight-laced and boring. at the same time, you can't dress TOOO funky because that'd strip you of your credibility. so you have to strike a balance between professionalism and funky glamor. =x i'm quite pleased with the outcome though... thank God i managed to put together a pretty nice ensemble i think!

a busy busy weekend lies ahead- tonnes of readings that piled up while i was busy applying for jobs last week, sentosa on sat with church peeps, service on sun, and reading up for the interview on mon.. my mum's back on sat too!! =D =D =D

thank You God for the blessed life of love and fulfilment that you've given me. i couldn't ask for anything more. =D

Flashbacks

2009-01-15T01:09:00.003+08:00

Today, I accompanied a dear friend, Glenn, for his wisdom tooth extraction surgery, along with Sheena, John, Hanna and Leon, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ.

Watching him go through the entire process, I couldn't help but remember my own experience 5 years ago, extracting my own wisdom teeth in the University of Michigan hospital. Back then, I'd only just touched down on American soil for not very long, to discover that I was facing wisdom teeth complications, which needed immediate extraction. *sobs*

It was devastating, just thinking of going through the entire process, alone, still friendless and with no family around me. To make things worse, the American protocol was such that for every operation, the patient had to be accompanied by another person throughout the operation, as well as after the operation. Still friendless, I was so desperate that I emailed the entire Singapore Student Association, begging for help... Thankfully, one of the Singaporean seniors took pity on me and offered to drive me there, wait patiently during the operation, and drive me back to my hostel. Still, it was frightening going through the entire surgery without close friends and family around me, and even more frightening to suffer the post surgery pain all alone.

It was an experience I'd never never forget. Today, as I accompanied my dear friend for his extraction, those memories I'd thought I'd long forgotten all came back to me. They only served to remind me though of how blessed I am today.

It takes frightening or lonely moments to remind you to appreciate everything that you have. At the end of the day, I'm thankful for the entire American experience because it sifted the truer friends in my life from the good time friends and most of all, I grew more independant, appreciative and grateful.

Yes, it overturned everything I'd believed in - friends I'd thought would remain friends for life ended up being the friends I lost, friends I'd never thought I really connected deeply with proved to be the truer friends in my life, and many things changed in Singapore while I was away...

But, at the same time, I discovered friendship that withstood the tests of time and changes (like my friendships with Leon and Kwan Mei), as well as the true meaning of life that went beyond temporal happiness and contentment. =) I "saw" clearer after the entire experience.. the more realistic parts of life, but also the many blessings I'd been blind to for too long. =) And, I realized that life will take many unexpected twists and turns, but in the end, everything will always be okay, because the pleasant surprises will balance out the disappointments and sadness. =) Most of all, God will always give us enough pain to help us grow, but also enough blessings to keep us sweet and happy yayyyy!

::Lunch Together Before the Operation::

The food @ Alexandra Food Center seriously rocks!!!!! =D =D

John's yummy yummy claypot laksa!!!

Glenn's very tempting chicken chop! Glenn: Rawrrrr... I'm gonna eat as much meat as I can before my teeth are extracted!

And my favorite dessert - tang yuan in peanut soup!!!! *envious envious*

Potato wedges (!!) which I shared with Leon.. He wanted to eat poh piah I could tell but being the sweet best friend he is, he obliged me and ordered wedges in the end. =D

::Chilling at Macdonalds Post Op::

The poor victim after the wisdom tooth op!

Me: HEE HEE. I can scold Glenn now and he can't fight back! *MUAHAHA*

Leon: This woman is evil.. OMG.. Get her away from me!

John and Sheena: See if we care.. We're busy surfing the net and playing with the PSP!

Hanna - Yea, me too. Busy with my debate.. How the hell do I rebutt the motion that there is too much violence in today's entertainment?!!!! Grrrr.

Migration from Xanga!

2009-01-15T00:48:00.000+08:00

Ello!!

I'm migrating from xanga because I got sick of my photos not turning up on my xanga page, the page editor hanging when I'm in the middle of typing an entry, so on and so forth.

It's okay.. The blog is different but the writer is still the same! =D =D

Till the next time!

Love,
Mar